The last four years of my life has been a blur A lot of thing have happened; a lot of changes occurred But I’m still the same nobody that you never got to know So it’s time to re-introduce myself and drop a flow; I got to go Back to the pen again. I spend a lot of time out of my mind But now it’s time to get back in my head again I put my faith in the page and trust on the line When I confide in you and tell you what’s on my mind

I run on my own power supply, mechanical ligaments Move to the tempo producing a beat by simply moving my fingertips Unlisted amongst the “Who’s Who”s But still, what kind of machine you know operates on loose screws Better than this? My output efficiency surpasses that of the industry standard of sufficiency. Radio rappers with mental deficiency can’t even belittle me. On stage, back to the crowd Conducting a manic symphony. I was running low, battery life sinking again But that could change with the flick of a wrist and the ink in my pen Pen to my pad, pad to my mike, mike to my track now that I’m back Still living with that mentality of “Fuck Rap” And I could care less about a mad critic critiquing my speech, proving wrong every last cynic I live through the rhythm and give them my soul with every word Because a beat can bring me to life when my pulse aligns with it What’s on Your Mind? If hypocrisy could only set my mental free I’d indulge in it, because I’m not afraid of backpedaling I can be so ugly, if you ever saw judgmental me Pointing my finger at you, you’d ask “how black could this kettle be?” I could weigh my values to find the worth in me But measuring my principals would be an uncertainty If I could honestly live up to the hype You’d be the one that answers the knock at the door and I’d be Walter White I’m the one who knocks. Yeah, and you know this You’re more like Jesse when he was strung out, a blowfish You intimidate, got that mock stare But you just inflate, full of hot air Giving up would take everything that I have I could always break the habit, but I don’t know if I could Break Bad Seeing me would be a step out of your bracket Right into a plastic casket of hydrofluoric acid What’s on Your Mind? I’m not the type that’s taking my soul and selling it I’m the type that’s better off at staying irrelevant While still staying relevant, at least in a different sense You think you got greener grass? I think you’re seeing a different fence And I don’t even want your side, you can keep it Because my side over here has the best kept secrets Talking your Mac Miller and all of your people When the only Macs I care to hear are Ten, Leven , and Lethal And I don’t mean to be so good it makes you hate yourself But you should probably take notes from [ BRACE YOURELF ] By the way John (whatup) you put so much trust in me To deliver that child (Now you're sharing the custody) Now I’m not saying they’re doing it best When I say I’m slightly envious of mainstream success But the only way I’d work with Young Money if offered to do it Is if I bought the label with drug money and laundered it through it Because at the end of the day, I’m sitting in the same spot Looking at the same page, staring at the same ink blot So what right do I have to hate on success? Wait, I give a fuck less if I’m justified or possess any sanity in what I say. My madness is a given I wouldn’t say there’s a method to it; more like a rhythm There’s no filter on me now and I ain’t crossing out any lines I hope you have a whole album’s worth of time when you ask me What’s on Your Mind?

I tried to do it your way Tried to play by the rules you play But that ain’t me I could be just like you But that ain’t me Now every verse I write Every bar I spit it’s all in spite Towards you I could be just like you But that ain’t me Must be the wickedtry within me that be getting me My enemy, the enemy that’s ended me and smitten me I don’t want to be the puppet, so fuck it And when I say fuck it, I mean the industry Now I just had an epiphany, the skills and talent God’s given me Is about to bubble over and blow the rap game infantry Feet first I hop in the game and scream out my name It’s LTB Killing them, drilling them, filling them all with my evil seed So I just sit on my throne as the biggest no one no one’s ever known I walk alone so do what I’ve said and gimmie my microphone With my mouth open wide, hands to the sky at God, I ask him “Does it have to be like this? Fame and happiness, I got to have them” But all my life I’ve been told every fucking thing I touch turns gold But can’t you see how that can get old Whenever you want it all to be platinum I tried to do it your way Tried to play by the rules you play But that ain’t me I could be just like you But that ain’t me Now every verse I write Every bar I spit it’s all in spite Towards you I could be just like you But that ain’t me (Big Shot) You know I could come out, walking and talking and acting like those other rappers But I’d rather just do what I do best; bring freshness to patterns of music. And yes, in a matter of speaking you dudes just badly abuse it So we can’t allow you to keep it. What in the hell is you doing? I simply just don’t care how many of those folks stare Since talent is so rare, if feels like your homie’s coming out of nowhere Weak ones are bound to show fear, deep down they’re spineless, mindless Running right behind the crowd is where you’ll find them, their kind is Obsolete. Couldn’t rock a beat to save their lives Homie, talk is cheap so don’t try to speak if your style is weak just say goodnight If you even attempt to pick up the mike, you’re getting put to sleep if your ish ain’t tight So remember whenever you write to be better than everybody in sight I’m getting the feeling like every minute I’m in it to win it giving everything that I got Heart’s beating quick and my stomach’s in knots Start feeling sick when I’m hearing these songs Like every day, all the day long, I’ll sound the same if that’s what they want Well homie, that ain’t me you must be crazy Ima do me while you act like you're dumb I tried to do it your way Tried to play by the rules you play But that ain’t me I could be just like you But that ain’t me Now every verse I write Every bar I spit it’s all in spite Towards you I could be just like you But that ain’t me

It’s like every day I steady try to avoid social situations Because I’ve got nothing to say to spark up conversations And I can’t take it anymore and it’s all because it Still makes me feel like I’m a motherfucking maniac in public So I just keep to myself, and I don’t ask for help So people probably think “He’s full of himself” “Mr. ‘Mister superstar quick to give the cold shoulder’ ” “Mr. ‘Mister, are you done talking yet, let’s just get it over’ “ And that is my perception of your possible inspection that I question that brings about recollections And then lead to random thought connections inside of my head Then I start to hate my own reflection and realize my imperfections So I barley feel comfortable in my own skin In my own clothes, in my own home, even around my own kin In my own mind…in fact the only time I’m only comfortable is when I’m in my own rhyme I feel twisted apart like an Oreo And don’t you dare look me in the face and tell me not to worry, NO I know my anxiety is unnecessary and in excess But I can’t help it because I’m a mess I feel sad To the point where I can’t cope, feeling anxiety this is my last hope I get mad Because my feelings control me, hide me, conceal, and withhold me Why can’t I have What everyone else does? It only makes me more anxious and it’s all because I feel sad Social Anxious and Deprived of a normal life I could probably tell you what it’s like To be sad I could probably let you in my head Or keep myself sealed tighter than the cellophane around a pack of Reds Or I could sit in the corner and keep to myself quietly And tune out anything that has to do with society Or I could repress it, and let it build inside of me But then I’d probably just explode violently And fucking loose it while inside I scream And take my psyche back to the days of Troubled Teen To live my life in peace it’s like I’m not aloud Because some days I still feel like the motherfucking Problem Child And here’s one thing I don’t get I use to think the world was Afraid of Me but now it seems that I’m afraid of it Shit, look what I do to me I make myself such a mess and toy with my own emotions so brutally So I stay away from the public eye As an attempt to avoid the reminder that I… Feel sad To the point where I can’t cope, feeling anxiety this is my last hope I get mad Because my feelings control me, hide me, conceal, and withhold me Why can’t I have What everyone else does? It only makes me more anxious and it’s all because I feel sad Social Anxious and Deprived of a normal life I could probably tell you what it’s like To be sad You see, it’s kind of hard to sleep when your head is riddled with thoughts you’re not allowed to speak about… It’s not that you’re not allowed to speak about them It’s about how you would go about trying to speak about them And then it’s the courage you need to speak about them And then it’s the person you need to tell because your task can’t be complete without them But then that leads back to the anxiety Like jeeze, I feel I’ve hit the bottom I could try to explain it to you But then I’d probably just start feeling anxious and yank this Mike right out the stand and commence to break this Equipment in front of me because I can’t take this And go ape shit like “fuck this song I can’t make this” “Turn my mike off take this session and erase it” I wrote this song to face these issues and embrace it Yeah, like sharing it with you was going to change it I feel sad To the point where I can’t cope, feeling anxiety this is my last hope I get mad Because my feelings control me, hide me, conceal, and withhold me Why can’t I have What everyone else does? It only makes me more anxious and it’s all because I feel sad Social Anxious and Deprived of a normal life I could probably tell you what it’s like To be sad

Where I’m at in this point of my life is critical And even I’ll admit sometimes I act so pitiful I guess I’m just an introverted individual So my contact with the outside world is minimal That’s why I leech on to anybody showing me any sign of love Because I’m afraid one day they’ll be gone And then I’ll have to start over without them Just wishing I could rip their beating heart up out them And carry it with me, and I’m just so afraid to say it So I let them leave me and convince myself that I am hated That’s how I’ve wound up in this state of mind I’m in So closed off from the world and intertwined in my sin So I appreciate the offer, but know how it’ll end So no thanks, I think I’d rather go and see a doctor But then I’m afraid I’ll have to dress to impress to be formal In other words have to take a pill to be normal So please believe me when I say I don’t want you it’s not that I don’t want you, I just don’t want you to leave me So please leave me now instead of later and go away I swear to God and swear to you both that I’m okay I know that you’re just concerned, you just want to help me But I’m okay. I promise and I swear to you Even though these weary eyes tell a different story I’m okay. You know I wouldn’t lie to you Even when you hear me scream verbal explosions I’m still okay. I think I can make it through This is just how I deal; it’s how I’m coping Am I in my right mind? No way But through teary eyes, I reassure you I’m okay You want to pick at my brain like maggots that feed On rotten remains buried six feet deep When you scrape the resin from my brain all that’ll remain Is a plethora of emotions I can’t begin to explain I know you see me screaming out waving out my arms saying “OH GOD, IT HURTS” But I swear to you I’m not in pain I know we only go by with what we see, but often times what we don’t understand Is that the truth is not in plain sight So get it right It’s such an instrumental feeling And this can never be intrinsic when we talk about well being No matter how close my life gets to hell, it is not in my nature to dwell in petty selfishness But, like the best of us I often stray from this position But what can I say? That’s just the human condition It’s obvious I’ve got issues But I would never dream of including you in them or instilling them in you And what gets me.. Is knowing that you know I’m broken and thinking somehow you can magically fix me It’s a naive notion thinking you have some sort of remedy or potion that could pick me up and lift me So forget it. And forget me. I know that you’re just concerned, you just want to help me But I’m okay. I promise and I swear to you Even though these weary eyes tell a different story I’m okay. You know I wouldn’t lie to you Even when you hear me scream verbal explosions I’m still okay. I think I can make it through This is just how I deal; it’s how I’m coping Am I in my right mind? No way But through teary eyes, I reassure you I’m okay I told you that I’m okay but you obviously truly Know me too well because you see right through me Am I that transparent? I guess I can’t fight it Because I try to convince myself that I actually hide it The truth is, you can tell that I’m acting all crazy As I scream out to the whole world, “PLEASE, SOMEBODY SAVE ME” But I don’t say it with my words. I say it with the expressions on my face And the actions that I choose to take I want your attention so damn much But I’m afraid that if I get it, I’ll grasp and I’ll clutch So fucking hard I’ll suffocate the life from you And dim whatever remains of all of the light from you So what else am I to do? I’m just trying to protect you so that’s why I feel I must lie to you No matter what I try to do I always feel like I resent myself and take it out on me In spite of you Telling me not to be so hard on myself But fuck that, I’d rather have me all to myself Because one day these weary eyes may cause you teary eyes And I’ll have no fucking clue what to say to you besides I know that you’re just concerned, you just want to help me But I’m okay. Even though these weary eyes tell a different story I’m okay. Even when you hear me scream verbal explosions I’m still okay. This is just how I deal; it’s how I’m coping Am I in my right mind? No way But through teary eyes, I reassure you I’m okay I’m reaching out I’m closing up I’m screaming out But my mouth is shut To be left alone Is all I desire But if I told you I’m telling the truth I’m a liar I swear to you

I lie awake, but to tell the truth rappers are so asleep It’s like their thoughts barley process when they go to speak My head is where the danger is, so tie me down, duct tape my mouth and keep me from blinking with a set of rusty paper clips I’m uninterested in my own thoughts so I guess that I’m a zombie with an appetite for What’s on Your Mind It’s not hot in here, I’m just smothering you So call me whatever you please because honestly it’s rubber and glue Sticking to you Deception, I can’t handle it My abandonment issues always manifest into an abandonment catalyst If I would’ve mustered up the senses to have a kernel of a clue I would’ve had you in the bedroom with a candlestick Standing eye to eye and chest to chest I’m not backing down because I’m hopped up on a drug called Carlos Estevez You’re not fluid. In fact then, give me your top five And I bet they got the thought process of Two and a Half Men (Adam Miller & Nathan Gilleland) It’s ironically funny like saving your money when you’ve got nowhere to spend it It’s having the gift of life without even having the power to end it It’s Thoughtlessness So Whatcha Thinking? What’s on Your Mind? I think You’re barley breathing But never mind, you’re fine This gift is a curse; So I thank God for the curse He’s bestowed upon me and pray for him to make it worse And told him if it’s not in His plan that I would take a church Hold it hostage and tell God he better make it work I’m out of line unlike my penmanship is Not really identified or aligned with the music business To the wind is where my cautiousness is Reminding all those around me exactly what thoughtlessness is Kids that just think they can rhyme “My Time” with “Rhyme” and “Shine” And throw a hash tag swag in it online Talking that YOLO as if I’m hearing it Thinking they’re now officially rappers, or God forbid, lyricists Not to get out of hand or off topic But if you’re swaggin’ without rappin’ I’m pulling your limbs from your sockets Removing your head so I can peel back your skull and peek in To find out exactly what the fuck you could possibly be thinking It’s ironically funny like saving your money when you’ve got nowhere to spend it It’s having the gift of life without even having the power to end it It’s Thoughtlessness So Whatcha Thinking? What’s on Your Mind? I think You’re barley breathing But never mind, you’re fine I could do this in my sleep day out and day in The mind is a beautiful place, but dangerous to play in Yeah, it may look like it’s great for a picnic But I promise you, you wouldn’t want to spend too long in it And maybe that’s the reason why I think I might have gone out of it Because sanity’s kind of loud man, turn that shit down a bit Rationality could do a world of good But it can be so thick sometimes that I wouldn’t want to drown in it Sometimes I find myself trapped in my head and I can’t get out of it Guess that’s why I get funny looks when I’m starting to pound on it You ever get a memory you don’t want to remember And it played itself out and you still went and re-wound-ed it And played that shit over? Yeah, your mind can play tricks on you And sometimes you get upset at the lack of thoughts it’s giving you But is it really subconscious-ness unwillingness we have no say in and can’t control at all, or is it you? If my thoughts called the shots I think they’d get rid of me And carry out the plot in a dream that’s slipped in lucidity I try my best to stay calm and not be paranoid But it’s kind of hard not letting my thoughts get to me They’re after me I say less than what I think in my head There’s a lot of truth in my words that will never be said But even so when I grab my notebook and scribble across it I guarantee not one word I ever write is thoughtless So Whatcha Thinking? What’s on Your Mind? I think You’re barley breathing But never mind, you’re fine Some people have told me they way I think is insane “But I’m not crazy…I’m not crazy” If I thought like you That would be crazy

I’m a hypocrite; What more can I say? There’s no black and white in my world it’s all shades of grey I stand for nothing. An emptiness inside of me brews So understand that my virtues are based on my current moods That swing sporadically. They’re unpredictable So when I lie to you and tell you that I’m not miserable Just let me be because you don’t get it The next time my mood swings it’s possible that my fists might swing with it I exaggerate my very essence And then I grab the pen and then choose to poeticize my presence So when I go to say something I align myself with the angels instead of the dirt and grime that I came from I am no different than those that I chose to point my finger at It’s funny, because the karma you put out seems to linger back And when you get your say and it’s all through The irony is that your words come back to rain on you I know I am not perfect, so I choose to realign My ideas with the thoughts that human kind is kind of flawed by design But with that state of mind will I stay afloat? Or use that piece of information as my life’s scapegoat? It was like the floor of my psyche cracked and I fell in I’m against that type of lifestyle, huh, yeah, that’s what I’d tell them all Standing face to face with the girl I loved Saying money’s thin, she’s got drugs Would I help her sell them? And I declined as I stood firmly behind My beliefs as I realized that love isn’t blind; It’s senseless. I could have prevented this, but I compromised my beliefs when I slept next to her at night failing to mention this is eating at me. But since then I’ve forgiven We’re all products of madness, and we all make fucked up decisions But now I’m reminded that my proclivity to kindness Inevitably led me to realize I’m nothing but spineless I should’ve drew the line and moved on with my life Because maybe if we did, we could’ve had a chance to make right Instead of it coming to a head in a fight then…but I didn’t And now my sister’s missing her supply of per scripted vicodin And it downs me… Knowing not standing up for my beliefs ended up hurting others around me I’m feeling weak and I’m shaking. My mind is taking another route Want me to open the windows to my soul? Well fuck it, I’ll rip the shutters out I don’t want to pretend like I’m not damaged man I’m natures biggest mistake, a fucking average man The world is sick and when faced with its pain The only natural option is to seek lunacy because any other reaction would be well… Insane. And it was that view in my scenery That made me aware of all the fear in me And all the things wrong with me, there’s nothing like time alone with yourself Because it makes you realize what’s fucked up about your mental health I started getting scared so afraid of my own reflection I deflected it by picking at the world’s imperfections My level of insecurity might be able to hurry me to an early grave. No color in my life when dullish shades collide to blackness, now as I start to rap this I realize I’m out of touch and out of practice And out of reach from those around me Running where no light shines, but somehow it still found me I convinced myself that selflessness was the way to live But I indulge myself in hedonism with so much to give And I just keep it all and won’t cross that line No I won’t go out with you because that costs me money and it costs me time And how odd it is I have so many issues but want to tell so many people, “know what your problem is?” Like I could be some sort of source of some help Running towards the damaged as I run away from myself I’ve never been called a dog. I’m just living my life Looking for something more, searching through all the fog I can’t stand it or understand it why you would bother Listening to the frantic rantings of a manic romantic’s monologue And depression is something I can’t quite bracket off Life is a big fucking joke, yeah, laugh it off Because we all find out sometime, everything we work for is insignificant And that’s life’s greatest punch line A smile of scars, yeah, I slashed this To tell the truth I believe we’re all one bad day away from falling into madness A belief structure from a fictional psychopathic model Of a clown as I cry over a Killing Joke novel And I know I’m rambling throughout this song I guess I used to believe life was divided between right and wrong But wrong and right is just a shadow when you view your life As black and white, a rude awakening is brewing in your sights I’ve contradicted myself immensely To the point I look at decisions I’ve made in life and offend me My identity in crisis cries out for silent hopes An existence exists in the cosmos somewhere behind this Celestial curtain that hides life’s meaning A speck of dust on the universe that may never find it’s place Singing to a crowd of stars a million miles away He takes a bow, and hangs his head, and wipes his brow and fades to grey and wonders what is it exactly that happens now?